About halfway back to Rio on the bus in the middle of the night, my girl suddenly shot out of her seat like she’d sat on a scorpion.
“E’sheet! I forgetted my laptop in the Acid-Lady house!” She howled.
Shit, of course! At one point at the party, in a fit of pathological anti-social shyness, and feeling overwhelmed by all the fancy people there, she’d simply retreated into Fantasy Land and gone off by herself to play some computer game.
“Aiii!! My laptop!” She wailed loudly again, waking up the sleeping bus passengers to a volley of hissing and ssshhh-ing worthy of a rolling snake pit.
“Should I tell the driver to stop and turn the fucking bus around, baby?” I laughed.
Before she could go into full meltdown mode, I calmly assured her that I would call our host the minute we got back to Rio and just ask him to send it to us with my pal Eugene, whose band, Gogol Bordello, would be coming up to play in Rio in a couple of days, right after their upcoming São Paulo gig. That promise, combined with the prompt rockstar hand delivery of her beloved laptop seemed to satisfy her, momentarily quelling her urges to kill everybody on the sleeping bus, myself included. I went back to sleep and when I woke up, we were in Rio.
As we got off the bus it was raining softly in the murky light of dawn. The familiar smell of raw sewage and mold invaded my nostrils. The smell of a thousand dead man’s farts. Welcome home. Ahh, home! Home Sweet Home.
Pics not working today! Sorry guys!
Woo hoo… dats stinky!
“prompt rockstar hand delivery” is the best kind!…
you forgot, baby? that the police tried to search us when we got off the bus? And i told the cop his mother’s body was in your luggage without the head because i decapitated her… then he realized we were crazy and left us alone… haha…
oh yeh… how could i forget???